i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
