the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
