That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
