I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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