He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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