i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
