Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
