So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
