dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
