why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
