Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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