Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
