So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
