I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
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