how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
