is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i came on her dog
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
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