now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
