I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
