if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
