the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
