you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
