Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
