New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
