Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
My vagina is officially offended.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
