can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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