i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
