I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Say something about gay babies.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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