wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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