yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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