Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
