i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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