I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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