Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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