Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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