Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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