obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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