is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
