you would pick up someone in the library
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Randomize
