Why are handjobs necessary in class?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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