Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
