found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
