that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
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