Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
