That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
