I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
