K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
