Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
