I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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