Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
