My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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