What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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