I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
bring money and cleavage
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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